Rivenlocks and the Three Witches
by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: My parody of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The characters may be a bit OOC, but it's all for the sake of comedy! So enjoy and review.


**Rivenlocks and the Three Witches**

**A bad rendition of Goldilocks and the Three Bears**

**Summary: Everyone is OOC, but Riven who I bet would just walk into someone's house break things, eat the food and sleep in their beds. Now read and enjoy.**

**Dedication:** **This is dedicated to Riven and the Trix sisters. Also Ohio, North Dakota, Texas and Oregon. But not the hippopotamus **

**Disclaimer: The aliens won't take you if you seem too eager.**

**O**nce upon a time there were three witch sisters. An ice witch named Icy, a storm witch named Stormy and a mind controlling witch named Darcy-their parents actually got creative with the last one.

One day Icy came down with a bad case of nice and made her sisters a nice hot breakfast of porridge. Of course since Icy didn't know how to cook, she made the porridge too hot.

"Ow! Dammit! Icy what is this crap and why is it so hot?" Stormy griped dropping her spoon and fanning her tongue simultaneously

"It's porridge." Icy snapped back. Her bad case of niceness was more like morning sickness- except it did only happen in the morning and she wasn't pregnant. (Thank God!)

"Well, it's too damn hot to eat." Darcy added her complaint loud and clear. "Cool it down."

"I don't want to" The ice witch pouted. It seemed that her nice illness was wearing off.

"Well, we have to do something besides watch the wallpaper peel." The witch with the bad perm pointed out.

"Let's go cause some mischief." The manipulative one suggested.

The other two witches agreed. So they teleported into Magix to wreak havoc and mayhem on the populace.

A few minutes later a young specialist named Riven came by and noticed that the witches had left the door wide open. Being the curious (okay nosey) type, the spiky haired young man decided to investigate.

Upon entering the house he found three chairs. Having been walking for a while, Riven's feet were tired and he was inclined to recline.

He sat in the first chair; it felt like an ice cold rock. "Ow!" Cried Riven as he felt hit butt turn black and blue. "This chair is too damn hard!"

Undaunted, Riven got up and decided to try another chair. The second one he tried seemed fine, then he began to sink. "Eep! " The specialist shouted, then used all his strength to get out. "This chair is too soft!"

Still undeterred Riven tries the third and final chair. "Ah, this chair is just right." The specialist sighed contentedly.

However, either that chair was poorly made or Riven was walking for more than just the hell of it. Because no more than three seconds after he had sat in that chair, it broke.

Riven found himself amid a strew of chair carnage, but still curious. So the nosey specialist picked his large chair breaking butt off the floor and went into the kitchen where he saw three bowls of porridge waiting on the table.

Finding himself hungry and forgetting that he had just broke a chair- the magenta haired specialist dug right into the first steaming bowl.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Riven exclaimed in pain, dropping the spoon and fanning his mouth. "That porridge is too hot for human consumption!"

Still hungry, Riven tried the next bowl. But when he went to scoop out the contents, his spoon made a small ping against the porridge. "Hey! This porridge is frozen!"

So that left just the third and final bowl. Tentively Riven reached in with his spoon and took a bite. "Hey! This porridge is just right!" So the specialist finished off the entire bowl and burped.

His hunger satisfied Riven began to feel groggy. So he decided to try and find the bedrooms at the top of the stairs. He found three separate bedrooms with three very separate beds.

"Oh this is just too much." The magenta haired specialist moaned with exhaustion. But never the less Riven began trying out beds.

He found them to be like the chairs. When he laid on the first bed Riven tried not to cry out in agony. "This bed is too hard."

So Riven went over to the next room and plopped himself down on the five goose down comforters and sunk natural waist deep into the mattress. "This bed is too soft! Someone could get back problems." The specialist observed worriedly.

Removing himself from that bed really wore him out, but Riven was determined to find a comfortable bed that wouldn't cause back problems.

Coming into the last room, Riven eyed the bed warily then sat on it. "Mmm, nice." He then proceeded to sprawl out. "This bed is just right." He sighed and went to sleep.

Meanwhile the witches were on their way home from Magix. They were congratulating themselves on a job well done.

"Give it up ladies! Come on, who's my witch." Stormy gloated.

"Holla at your witch." Icy crowed sounding like she and Musa (who isn't in this story because she didn't fit) had switched bodies.

"Uh ladies, I hate to break up this whole aren't we the evilest session, but our front door is open." Darcy reported, raining on her sisters' parade.

The Witches Three sped into the front room and surveyed the damage.

Icy strode over to her chair and noticed a slight indentation. "Someone's been sitting in my chair." She growled. "And when I find the culprit there will be retribution."

Stormy copied her sister and went over to her chair. Noticing that the cushions were out of place she snarled. "Someone's been sitting in my chair too."

Unlike her sisters, Darcy didn't have a chair to look over. Further inspection of the room revealed why, there was chair carcass everywhere. "Quit your witching." She held up a few pieces and wailed. "Someone sat in my chair and their fat butt broke it!" She continued to wail until Icy slapped her. "Thank you."

The trio continued into the kitchen now intent on finding this rude person and causing him discomfort. When they got there, they found something else amiss.

"Hey, someone tried to eat my porridge." Icy announced noting the small dent and the bent spoon.

Stormy decided to check out her bowl too. "Someone tried to eat my porridge too." She added angrily. "That was very rude."

Darcy looked at her bowl. She even tipped it over, but not even a drop came out. "At least you guys still have porridge! The greedy interloper ate mine all up!" She started to bawl and did so until Stormy threw her bowl at the manipulative witch. "Ow! That hurt!"

"Who cares?" Icy snapped. "Let's just go upstairs to see if the person's still there.

When they arrived at the top of the stairs, the sisters inspected Icy's room first.

"The blankets have been wrinkled!" The ice witch exploded. "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"

The witches moved on to Stormy's room where they noticed a dent in the comforters. "Someone was sleeping in my bed too!" the storm witch was livid.

With energy building in the palms of their hands, the trio made their way to Darcy's bedroom, one behind the other. Pausing, the two sisters named after their powers shoved the other into her room where she began to scream.

"There's someone sleeping in my bed!" Darcy crept closer and smelled him. "And he ate my food!"

At Darcy's second declaration Riven sat up with a start and looked around with astonishment. It soon turned to dread when the other two witches began to surround him.

"Eep! Please don't kill me!" He begged.

Stormy just shrugged. "We weren't going to kill you." She scoffed.

"Yeah, killing is so last millennia." Icy stated with scorn in her voice.

"That's a relief." Riven replied sounding anything but.

"Heh, Darcy's just going to keep you as her new pet project." Stormy snickered.

"Emphasis on the _pet_." She and Icy smirked

"Well, actually I was going to toss him out the window for breaking my stuff, but your idea sounds so much better." Darcy told her sisters in agreement.

Riven tossed himself out the window and bolted back to Red Fountain. Never to be seen in those woods again.

**_The End?_**

**Well, I thought it was a good idea. And it looked good on paper. Well, review and tell me what you think. Don't tell me I did all this creativity for nothing!**


End file.
